See Me Jam: Stream Of Consciousness (Dream Theater Cover)

I suppose this is one of the video recordings I will cherish forever. Its been so long that I've wanted to record this, and finally it was realized today. This song is special to me because of a few reasons...one of them is because its the longest instrumental song I've ever played with a band and...most technical instrumental song I've ever researched.

I'll always treasure this...thanks to Halim (guitars/mastermind/DT Fanatic) and Usop (as usual, the prodigal drummer..you're a Godsend!)...I hope we'll still jam till we have grandkids..haha!

Please feel free to rate..thanks!Enjoy!!
p/s:we don't jam that often so...there are mistakes here and there...bear with us..:D

Yeah,we play Dream Theater....

Show and Tell : Julianne Tarroja

I discovered another talented female artist out there, but she's not local though,she originates from the Philippines...extremely talented and to be honest, in my own personal opinion she reminds me of our very own Sheila Majid...jazzy and soulful....extremely hypnotizing, and she plays the guitar very impressively...see her play the song
Grateful then you'll believe me.

Anyways, a colleague of mine introduced me to her. I don't really know how he got to find her but he did told me he waited the whole night to ....get the album.Right. Anyways, please don't be touchy on this? In our beloved country we don't get to expand our music selection to a wide extend ok? If its not because of "this" we would only be listening to Backside Boys singing repetitively on the radio. Give us (those who like good and rare music) a break.

Currently, I listen to her songs everyday, almost repetitively and I can't believe she's not famous here. And what are the chances to see her live?probably none. But at least my friends and the world know I love her and her new Grateful album(I think it was released last year)!
I still remember how the first song in her album Tulak Ng Bibig just blew me away with the jazzy and soulful feel. I'm posting one of her performance here, and the name of the song is Unsaid. Somehow or rather reflects my past history..right....but anyways, if you hear the album version its also very good.anyways,enjoy!

Keep it going Julianne!

Song lyrics | Unsaid lyrics

Think about it...Denial or Full Embracement?

I just came to a state that I think I need to vent this out. Yes, this is gonna be another posting that sounds like I'm only talking to myself, self absorbed yes. But since you are here, try to hear me out ok?please...you're a friend.

It always occurred to me that there are some things in life, they tend to be in the extremely unfair state. Yes, I'm bloody sure you have this thing going on in you as well yes? And thus, with this unfair taste in our mouths going on, it can produce problems. Mental, psychological, sanity problems. Oh, of course this could come down argumentative for everybody...in other words, some people would disaggree that for example... tyres should be square, why is it circular (I'm just being rhetorical people, just giving a blind example...not really saying that there are people out there saying tyres are suppose to be square...are there?). Now, I know that in some cases I am blessed and lucky. And of course I have problems too, everybody has them right? Then comes the question of, can it be solved? can it be countermeasured? can it be faced head on? can it ever be brought up?Would there be a method involved?

Now, to be going through that process of determining whether it could be solved or not could take time. And it always can't be really defined or given any time frame. Because, usually it depends on the magnitude of the predicament (or shit) you're facing. The bigger the problem, usually it takes more time to think about solving it. Some people could take like one second then poops out the solution. Some problem or some people could take minutes, hours, days, months and even years (we're talking basic time constraint here). So for those who are lucky enough to be able to define their time needed to solve their problems are just lucky bastards. Right? Because time needed has been defined, technically you have reached the finish line of solving the problem yes?

Now look beyond that..what if you will never cross that finish line? That finish line is perhaps a dot to you, or heck its just one of the black spots you eye produce should you have an eyesight problem(I think they're called floaters). There are times in problem solving you will realise that if it doesn't get solved EVER, you will come to a need of either two:

DENIAL

or

FULL EMBRACEMENT

Which do you choose? Which do you think has better merits that would lead you to a form of acceptance of the problem that was never solved?? Because should you not choose, dilemma starts to strike.It feels now like you cannot determine what's right for you. What seems to be the one that could help you make sense out of everything? You gotta be careful now, because to be honest either one seems to be a right solution but what about the thing called demerits? Y'see, either one of them has this, and yes both of them could cause more hurt, more problems and also make you look so ....dumb schmuck.

For example, let's tackle the word denial. Let's say we end up choosing denial. Denial is a new definition of ignorance. You choose to say something didn't happened or you choose not to reject your problem couldn't be solved or that the problem never happened. Either way, this is denial. The rejection of the reality, the rejection of your failure to solve your problem. So then you live your life just ignoring or just telling yourself that the problem never happened. The problem never even knocked on your footsteps of your life. Everything is supposed to be fine and dandy.

But looking on,deep inside of you...subconsciously you realised you're a failure. You're just this one big walking failure. Someone or something in your head just keeps on laughing (this can't necessarily be you, it could be your worst nightmare, your childhood bully,your kindergarden teacher...whoever) with the fact that you have lost. You just gave up on the problem that could be your worst nightmare. Your deepest darkest fears. Ok,wake up!! What I'm trying to say here is: denial can take its toll on your mental capacity to handle this problem. It could somehow or rather take its toll on your mental lifespan and one day you could end up being a vegetable...say the day after you realise "I'm living in denial all this while!"? (I'm not a doctor, a psychologist whatever, I'm just being pestimistic, but it has some truth to a certain degree ok?)

And so next we have FULL EMBRACEMENT. Yes, embracing the fact that you can't solved the problem. It has registered in your thick skull saying "I accept the fact that I am a failure in solving this shit". Yes, you're fully aware you're just incapable of solving this problem, even telling everyone you know " I can't solve this..I am THAT person, I can't solve this!"

My question now: do you think ending up with this, there is no toll taken on you whatsoever? What about the destruction it has caused on your massive ego? Do you realised by saying this you have also decreased your mental capability of psyching yourself(give yourself semangat laa I mean)? You're suppose to be able to psych yourself in doing something new or something important. Now by doing this FULL EMBRACEMENT, you have to keep telling yourself that you have just subconciously degrade yourself....willingly. I'm serious! You just accepted the fact you incapable when perhaps you should!!! Is this a method for you?

Is either one a method for any of us? Should it be a method at all? Should it be labelled as a bad move altogether and suggest ourselves a new solution instead?

I have no answer to this. Perhaps you do. Perhaps there are people out there who has found the answer to my question. Perhaps maybe there are some of you living this in a balance, living it so people could nobody see that you are actually doing both. Its unrealistic, its weird I know. But trust me...its possible. Still, I don't know if that's the answer to this posting I just hope it could actually bring in some sense in you and realise that how solving holds a huge amount of precedence in life. You have to take control or else not solving could just take control of your life. Letting you living in pain regardless of how you handle that failure. Thanks for reading guys. Feel free to feedback ok?

OI Sasha!Dah gila ke????

We Who Love Being Middle Class Citizens

I lied. Honestly, I lied. I love being in the middle class. Of course without this debt around me but nevertheless being middle class makes me happy. I don't mind being middle class, in fact its a far more of a relieve than being in the state that you are,at least until a year from now my fellow "ex-friends"....I know, there's a chance you'd be filthy rich beyond your wildest dreams, being called the ultra rich, I don't care. I have a piece of my mind to let out here and so be it.

Deep inside me I somehow or rather knew I was being a two faced ass hole, but then again I was really curious how the fuck did you guys (oh, I'm sorry...right now,only one of you is driving the big car. The rest of you are just still slaves,SLAVES!!!) get to be so rich. Supposed, SUPPOSEDLY spending money like it was nobody's business. But I'm glad I got to see what is really going on.... You guys are just 'up to your neck' in debt, and you're asking me to join you... Now that's why you can't even pay for my teh-o-ais-limau can't ya?Now tell me, who is really the two faced ass hole now ? But you know what, you can't blame me for being curious ok?All the curiosity came from your tactics, all came from your ulterior motive of being nice and showing off. And I've beaten you guys to it, you lost. So don't fucking blame me now y'hear? Win some lose some. Move on.

Well, I've made my decision. I know now what you guys are really doing, and I've chosen which path I want to walk on. Why I chose this path is I do not want to be the one responsible for persuading my other friends departing from a very huge amount of money. That leading to a lot of whole other problems should I did not 'take care' of them. Ah long, being bankcrupt, family denouncement...and lots more. But honestly, seriously how the hell do you balance the decision of departing with that amount of money with just this statement: "We will take care of you".And I only know you guys for how long to bet on this two-faced-no- foundation statement?No, my answer is a firm NO. Do not try to persuade me on this anymore. I'm done, I'm through. I do not wish to hang out with you anymore, as I will always be a potential target.And no, I do not need to be in that state to hang out with friends. Friends are suppose to make you feel comfortable, place you look for companion. Not SLAVES, not having a bull's eye on your back, not being a two faced bastard. I'm glad, because I realise I'm the one who is truly free. Not you. Unless of course...you made it in your objectives lah. Anyways, since its still legal in the eyes of the law, I wish you all the best, good luck and just stay away from me. Its still a free world so that's why I never mentioned your entity,your brand name etc....every human has the ability to think for themselves so that's why I ain't gonna take away your bread and butter. Good luck.

You do realise you are the building block of this? Bila mau independent?

I just realised this post is making me sound 'self-absorbed' as described by someone(uhuh), but my friends would know what I'm talking about (as usual). Just bear with me ok? I try my best not to sound too self-absorbed but I suppose that's the nature of blogs. Come back and read some more ok?I'll post more stuff soon.